I feel very much that its my time to go. I feel it should have been my time to go a very long time ago.
I’d envision that someone would be there for me. Not asking me if I’m ok but showing me. I’ve always imagined someone who never existed. I make my own bed. I make sure that I’m ok. I’ve always struggled on. But I couldn’t help imagine that one day, maybe soon, that someone will finally show me so much love that I would doubt why I’ve ever wanted to cut my life short.
I needed someone to listen to my heavy heart. Mental illness surpasses any physical pain that I’ve ever endured in my life. I’ve always told myself to be stronger than my late night thoughts, but what do you do when the demons in your dreams follow you into the sunrise?
I still can not comprehend how many people I’ve lost in my life. It’s strange how you can think about someone everyday and they have no idea. This abandonment has stricken me hard but I am finding companionship within myself.
I have so much life to live, and I completely understand that I must heal myself first to start over. I’m striving for that. When you’re happy, you feel immortal.
goldenyasmin 